i'm crying uncontrollably and i can't stop. i'm scared, tired, hopeful, hopeless, broken and nearly broke. i have no friends in this fucking hippie town and no one to hug me other than my dear husband who is busy at work.
i fucking hate this.
i fucking hate my clinic for letting my other blasts die in the petri.
i fucking hate my body and the northeast PA hospital that took my ovary. i fucking hate my genetics that robbed me of happiness.
i fucking hate the adhesions that keep threatening to take my life.
DH just happened to instant message me with a " :) " to which i replied " :( ". i told him i was cracking up so he called and was sweet. i told him the clinic killed our blasts and he's just as upset as i am. they said they'd call and they didn't.
anyway... maybe i'll go shopping. i made a lot of money on ebay last night so i guess i could go spend it.