Tuesday, March 11, 2008
5w0d????
So I suppose getting a BFP was the one way to make me shut my mouth. Amazing huh? The amazing thing is how incredibly mellow I am after more than 2weeks of sheer insanity and irrational thought.
Friday, March 7, 2008
12dp5dt - the call
the message is NOW ON THE VOICEMAIL! because of the whole iphone visual voicemail thing i can see that its 1 minute and 33 seconds long.
i'm trying to work out if "i'm sorry, but your beta came up negative. we are truly sorry. at this time, please stop all of your medications. if you wish to continue trying to conceive please continue taking your prenatal vitamins. when you are feeling better please call to set up your post-cycle consultation with Dr X. if you would like to speak to our therapist, please call her at 555.555.1212. please take care and we express our deepest condolences" would take up 1 minute and 33 seconds of time.
i'm determined not to listen until DH gets home.
i'm trying to work out if "i'm sorry, but your beta came up negative. we are truly sorry. at this time, please stop all of your medications. if you wish to continue trying to conceive please continue taking your prenatal vitamins. when you are feeling better please call to set up your post-cycle consultation with Dr X. if you would like to speak to our therapist, please call her at 555.555.1212. please take care and we express our deepest condolences" would take up 1 minute and 33 seconds of time.
i'm determined not to listen until DH gets home.
12dp5dt - beta day
well.. they have my blood so its now just a waiting game.
the red blood stopped after about an hour. i'm back to slightly spotting light brown.
what the hell does this mean?
everyone keeps telling me not to give up hope. i'm hearing a lot of stories about pregnancies that included a fair amount of red blood... so we'll see.
i'm really lightheaded.
when i was hysterical (calling DH, doctor, mom) i requested DH bring me home an HPT. i didn't use it. this morning DH hid it from me so i couldn't use it before getting beta results. we're hell bent on getting the result together and not me getting a result all alone and then banging my head into the wall 80 times.
the red blood stopped after about an hour. i'm back to slightly spotting light brown.
what the hell does this mean?
everyone keeps telling me not to give up hope. i'm hearing a lot of stories about pregnancies that included a fair amount of red blood... so we'll see.
i'm really lightheaded.
when i was hysterical (calling DH, doctor, mom) i requested DH bring me home an HPT. i didn't use it. this morning DH hid it from me so i couldn't use it before getting beta results. we're hell bent on getting the result together and not me getting a result all alone and then banging my head into the wall 80 times.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
11dp5dt - Still Crazy!
My husband's idea to take this photo and its pretty cool I must say!
So we are back from Colombia. And I'm really dizzy right now... Weird.
Had a really bad dream about having a BFN that included someone doing science experiments on my embies... exactly what I need for my sanity.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
10dp5dt - I'm the only person to have not peed on a stick
Right? Has anyone ever gone this long without a beta or a pee stick? We are in the Colombian airport right now waiting to fly back home from our vacation which provided very good but not total 2ww distraction. Despite the fact that I was neither raped nor killed by rebels on the 2 hr trip from Cartagena to Barranquilla, today is a shitty day with a lot of crying and negative attitude on my part. Yeah I know I've had the mystical brown spotting but I just can't imagine this working. I just don't feel that blessed. I just think all of these symptoms are an evil trick from god.
Oh. And god? Just so you know.... If I bfn, I have fantasies of dressing up like mara jade/alice (resident evil) and arming my ammunition belt with grenades and kitchen knives and hunting you down. Begging you for a few wins hasnt been working since about 1990 so I'm changing my strategy to threats. If you keep letting embyros die in my womb, you really leave me no choice.
I'm a bitter hormone soaked irrational bitch.
Oh. And god? Just so you know.... If I bfn, I have fantasies of dressing up like mara jade/alice (resident evil) and arming my ammunition belt with grenades and kitchen knives and hunting you down. Begging you for a few wins hasnt been working since about 1990 so I'm changing my strategy to threats. If you keep letting embyros die in my womb, you really leave me no choice.
I'm a bitter hormone soaked irrational bitch.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
